Sandwich Monday: The Abe Lincoln

Fourscore and 700 calories ago, I took my first few bites of the Abe Lincoln Sandwich from Skrine Chops in Chicago. In a tribute to our 16th president, they've stacked up sausages like Lincoln Logs, set them atop a bed of mashed potatoes and doused them in barbecue sauce, all on a hamburger bun.

Ian: How is this sandwich not the first thing on Lincoln's Wikipedia page?

Kelsie: The ONLY way to play Lincoln Logs is with sausages.

Mike: Yeah, this really reminds me of playing with Lincoln Logs as a kid, only now it makes sense that my hands are covered in mashed potatoes.

Even Robert's patented Double Eagle Sandwich Grip cannot contain the mashed potatoes.

NPR

We were too busy thinking about lunch to realize that today is the 152nd anniversary of the first issue of the Emancipation Proclamation, but our friends at NPR let us know. It's an amazing coincidence, because as we all know, 152 is the Sausage Anniversary.

Miles: You have to admit, "Rail-Splitter" is a much cooler nickname than "Sausage Stacker."

Ian: This tribute to Lincoln makes me feel like Taft.

Zombie George Washington: Just the mashed potatoes for me, please. My teeth don't work.

Robert: I think we can all agree this sandwich deserves its place on Mount Rushmore.

The better angel of our nature needs CPR.

NPR

Robert: With this sandwich, that "With malice toward none" line kind of makes Honest Abe a big ol' liar, doesn't it?

Miles: No, no, no, the nickname "Honest Abe" dates back to when he explained his idea for this sandwich to his Cabinet and they all said, "Honestly, Abe?!"

Mike realizes Abraham Lincoln has finally passed David Palmer as his favorite president.

NPR

Miles: I ate too much. Now I'm going to be Sick Semper Tyrannis.

Robert: This is a fun lunch, but I hate it when Abe and Stephen Douglas get in a debate about who picks up the check.

Mike: This explains why Lincoln was known as "The Great Emashedpotaters."

[The verdict: a pretty spectacular sandwich. The mashed potatoes provide a nice flavor and a firm foundation on which to build the rest of the sandwich. It's what we'll be eating every President's Day, and most other days, from now on.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me!